When you have reached the point you feel like your relationship needs help, you may wonder how to go about finding a good therapist. Sure, you can do a Google search and find someone – that may be what brought you to my blog.
But finding a couples counselor is just part of the process. Having a good relationship with me or any other good counselor is an essential part to the work you will do on your relationship.
There are certain things you should look for in a couples counselor.
First of all, you need to be able to feel comfortable with your therapist. You may have some extremely personal things you need to talk about. It’s normal, really. And you should be able to talk about whatever you need to so you can get the help you need.
As a couple or individual in counseling, you will need to be able to be honest with me so you can really do the work you need to do. I am not here to judge you in any way – just help – and when you are comfortable with me, it allows you to really to get to the problems that have been eating at your relationship. And by being honest, I can properly coach you towards repairing the areas that need it.
I will likely challenge you. You should be challenged – that is how you will grow in your relationship with your partner and your self – and a good counselor will do that. Again, it goes back to being honest and being coachable.
But I am not going to let you stay in a holding pattern of where you were when you first came to me. Good counselors help you move beyond that and meet your goals with your relationship.
By having that solid relationship with me, you can identify your own patterns of thinking and behavior. In doing so, you can learn how to express your own emotions and feelings in a healthier way.
Working with a Relational Life Therapist like me can help you learn how to do this in the best way possible. Learning how to communicate is just one of the things a good counselor can help you do and one of the biggest improvements you can make. It’s not as hard as it sounds when you have me and my decades of experience to help you.
In a counseling relationship, the focus should be on your goals and needs for your relationship. Not just you being another client on a marriage counselor’s calendar. You should feel like the time you spend with me in counseling is helping improve the quality of your relationship.
Improving your relationship is my goal and what I am here for — it is a collaboration between the three of us. But my role is to help the two of you – or you individually, if that is what you choose – to reach the goals we set together.
And last but not least, a good fit will mean you feel safe. In working with me, you'll know your therapist is there to help you and your spouse or partner to work on the problems, free of judgment. Like in any relationship, you should feel understood and like you are being heard.
If you’ve come to the point that you know you want and need a therapist, it can be hard and scary to know if you have found the right one. That’s why I offer a free consultation, so you can feel confident in knowing that I am the right one to help you. Let’s get started today!