© 2014 Roberta Gallagher
There are many reasons relationship have ended for me. Primarily I knew it was over for me. I wasn’t concerned that it was not over for the other person. As a matter of emotional survival I had to move on.
In retrospect I can see through the prism of professional and personal experiences that ending relationships can be accomplished with kindness and understanding. Although this is rare, it is possible.
In the various articles I have read on this topic the commonality is first to determine what is the right time to leave. I have an issue with this. The “right” time to leave implies absolute certainty. If we wait for this absolute we can remain stuck in ambivalence for years.
A practical criteria is assessing what is best for you at this point in time. We can make good decisions but not predict the outcome.
Your feelings are as important as practical considerations for ending a relationship. If you feel more lonely with your partner than when you are alone, it may be time to end.
If you do not trust your partner either because of infidelity or other secretive ways, you cannot be comfortable. Human beings require consistency and reliability to feel safe. There is no way around that. You deserve that.
When ending a relationship understand that you are saying good-bye to what is good as well as what is bad. Even if you are the one making the choice there will generally be a grieving process. Endings are never easy and they are sometimes necessary.
In my own experience I have learned many things – one of which is how to very quickly spot when relationships are entered into or breaking up for reasons you will regret.
If there is something about your partner or spouse that doesn’t sit quite right with you – or if the relationship is setting off a warning bell here and there – let’s examine why. I’ll help you determine, with a clear and objective perspective, what’s happening and what you should do about it.