The facts are that 50% of men and women who admit to cheating use social media sites and online chat rooms in their affairs. Facebook has become notorious for connecting up people who dated in high school and now many years later– and not satisfied with their relationships – rekindle old feelings.
Forty-five year old Janet came to me devastated. She had discovered that her husband had a secret phone and was contacting an old girlfriend. The texts she found were intimate. When confronted he became defensive and said. “I am entitled to my privacy.”
Bill came in very upset. “My wife and I had opened Facebook accounts. We had an agreement that we would always have everything open.
“I was feeling paranoid because she seemed distant and spent so much time on her computer. One day I discovered she had a separate account and had been communicating with an old boyfriend about the problems in our marriage. He had become her confidant.
“I wanted to work it through.” Bill recalls “I was devastated. She kept lying. I never got the truth.” They divorced and ultimately she moved to where the boyfriend lived.
I believe it is good to reconnect with friends and good to have relationships with men and women. The people whose intentions are to betray will do it anyway.
I also think that those who do not have those intentions can insidiously slip into creating inappropriate relationships.
With its easy access, social media has created many more difficulties in committed relationships.
A woman shared this with me years ago. “I stayed out of trouble because I had a rule that I would not do or say anything about my husband that I would not say in front of him.”
When you feel that the patterns of your relationship have changed, do not allow your partner to deny it and say it is all in your imagination. Unless you have a history of being jealous, trust your intuition.
If you find that you cannot maintain a healthy boundary, remove yourself from the social media world.
Tips to Follow When Establishing a Friendship Online
Keep the person you talk to at a distance emotionally.
Don’t have secrets from your spouse.
Don’t overstep boundaries.