Copyright 2013 by Roberta Gallagher
You never feel secure in the relationship. You’re constantly asking yourself if you are as demanding as he / she says you are. You are constantly making excuses to friends and family about his / her behavior.
If your partner is emotionally controlling you, it may be subtle, but it winds up being devastating.
When you want the approval of your partner more than you want your own happiness and peace of mind, this gives them an unfair advantage. Unfortunately, this type of individual will use this to make you always feel wrong.
What to Do
Take small steps in standing up for yourself to regain your proper role in this partnership. There is no relationship if there is no “You”.
When you are accused of not caring, you can list the ways in which you show you care. If you continue to be browbeaten, walk away.
Do not allow fights to escalate. Say something like “I do not think we are heading for a solution – let’s take a time out and get back to this later (aways good to set a specific time).
Stop the yelling by saying “I want to understand your pain but I can’t when you are yelling.”
Keep track by writing about what happened and what he / she said that is real and what is the product of wanting to make you feel bad. Notice the patterns. Do you always feel emotionally battered and unsure of yourself, no matter what you are discussing?
In a quiet moment review your findings with your partner.
If you still feel unheard and bullied by all means seek professional help. A relationship expert may be able to get through where you cannot.
I’m here for you. Give me a call when you need some couples counseling or relationship coaching.