Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher
In the past two blog posts, you’ve read about the assumptions of My Partner Never Changes, and Passion Fades Over Time.
Today we look at a third relationship harming assumption that may pervade not only a marriage or couple’s relationship, but other areas of life as well.
He / She Will Always Be There
The problem with this assumption is that it leads to complacency. Feeling taken for granted creates resentment. Resentment turns into emotional distance. The two of you are then off to the races. The finish line is permanent dissatisfaction, even depression.
The truth is that nothing is forever.
Our awareness that we will not live forever sharpens our desire to make every day count. Our awareness that people can leave us through death or by separation allows us to treat our relationships with greater respect.
Solution: Love is behavior. Work on using these behaviors every day:
Being a good listener
Being curious about the needs and wants of your partner
Spontaneously honor your partner.
Describe to them what you regard as special about them
Open your mouth and tell them that you appreciate them
What you think doesn’t count – what you say and do does.
If you are stumped for the kinds of behaviors that will show love to your partner, I’d like to help. Either couples counseling or individual coaching can save a relationship that is feeling wobbly.