Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher
Last week I wrote about the assumption of My Partner Never Changes, and how feeling invisible can cause couples to look elsewhere to feel seen, heard, and appreciated.
This week’s assumption is just as deadly to happiness in marriage and committed relationships.
Passion Fades Over Time
This assumed belief sets you up to be out of touch with the man / woman within you. Your partner will begin to feel like a piece of furniture and devalued as an attractive person. Not a good thing.
You know where that will lead.
The truth is that the energy of passion changes from being strictly chemical to being one of intention. You’ve heard the saying that the energy for sex lies in the mind. It lies in how you focus.
Solution: Focus on those aspects of your partner that you find attractive. Try motivating sexual desire by:
Observing the color of their eyes, or other physical features
Noticing and complimenting the way they handle your children
Fantasizing and bringing that excitement into your bed
Criticism and complaints kills sex drive. When you see your partner in the most positive of lights you’ll be inviting more passion into your relationship.
If the spark is gone from your marriage or relationship and you want it back, couples counseling will help. I’d be happy to talk with you about what to expect.