Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher
Are you torn between two lovers? Feeling in turmoil about having an affair? Know both are likely to feel betrayed no mattered what choice you make?
Falling love – or infatuation — with two people at the same time can quickly move from initial excitement to confusion, anxiety, and dread of discovery. And it’s one of the most painful of relationship situations to be in.
Evaluating what to do when you don’t know how to make a choice between the two is one of the most difficult situations my counseling clients face. You start off in deep emotional pain and inner conflict over what to do. Just the idea of having to give up someone you love to have an trustworthy and open life with another you feel you love equally as much is agonizing.
It’s hard to imagine that there is some logical way to approach this most painful of all dilemmas.
But, what is absolutely true is that you must make a choice, or you will never be at peace.
When questions like:
are going round and round in your brain in a desperate chase for answers, it’s time to seek some professional help.
There is a structure I use in helping you face this situation and come up with a decision.
It starts with looking at several criteria for making your decision:
Most importantly, I can help you define whether it is love or infatuation. You’re your time with me in counseling you’ll learn what it will take to make a final break.
No matter who you chose there will be a sense of grief and loss. Whichever person you choose, I will support you through the trauma of leaving an affair or a long-term partner.