Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher

Ever since human beings could speak to one another, they have been making promises and keeping them or not keeping them. Those who keep their promises are regarded as people of integrity, while those who don’t keep their promises are regarded as people who at best, can’t be taken seriously and at worst, can’t be trusted.

Sometimes we forget how powerful our words are, and we use them haphazardly or unconsciously, creating expectations that are never fulfilled, leaving disappointment and distrust in our wake.

At a deeper level, there are promises we may have made to ourselves that we don’t remember because they have slipped into our unconscious. An early heartache may have been followed by a promise never to trust love again.

Without realizing it, we may be fulfilling that promise and wondering why our love life looks so grim.

Growing up I began to realize that if my parents said yes to something, if they did not feel like doing it when the time came, they changed their mind. The corollary was true that if they said no I could wheedle them into changing their mind. I became an insecure person. I also became someone who had no idea what it meant to keep a promise.

This had unpleasant results in all my relationships and I was clueless.

Today I promise less than I can deliver and try to give more than I promise.

Much better results.

#personalwisdom #women #expectations #individualtherapy #marriage #samesex

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