as a single or a spouse
When love is lost we experience the most challenging times of our lives. Regardless of whether the loss is due to a fight and break-up, death of a spouse, separation or divorce, or if the cause has been initiated by you, or out of your control, endings are overwhelming.
Some relationships end through betrayal, or irreconcilable differences. Others end amicably by a decision of both partners that it is best to go separate ways. The relationship may have been good for a long time, but then one person outgrows the other.
No matter the cause or who initiates it, the ending of a relationship that once held a central role in your life is a frightening time for all.
These endings are losses to the psyche, and we need time to grieve. I can help you through the goodbyes of both the good and the bad.
Choosing to Split
In some cases, couples stay together for fear of the unknown even when both people know their deepest truth is that if they stay together things will get ugly. But that fear can become anger with yourself that is then turned on your partner in ways that are unhealthy for both of you.
Anger gives us a false sense of strength which some of us need in order to make the break. But it also creates unnecessary problems, compounds the impact on other family members, and invites retaliation – none of which really makes anyone feel better.
The good news is that it is not necessary to be angry or blame the other person in order to transition a relationship into one that is less connected but still civil.
When people come for relationship help they sometimes feel unhappy, sometimes bitter or victimized. This is common. But, you don’t have carry this hurtful grief around inside you and into your next relationship. The old relationship can sometimes transform into a friendship – but not if both parties are filled with blame instead of human understanding.
Even if a partner dies there may be
a sense of betrayal that goes unvoiced
– how dare he/she leave me?
If you are the one rejected by your spouse who is seeking divorce, these feelings magnify one hundred fold.
In the death of a partner or in divorce, and often in a traumatic break-up of a long term dating relationship, it is wise to wait a sufficient period of time to honor the meaning of what had once been good. We need time to gain perspective and to create a vision of what we need and want in our future.
Relationship coaching teaches you how to re-frame your thinking so that you feel empowered. It allows you to enter a new relationship or re-create yourself as a single person with clear eyes and a full heart – not carrying the past with you.
Learn more about relationship coaching
and how it will help you.
Call Roberta Gallagher today
Turn your relationship ending into
a bright beginning