Copyright 2014 Roberta Gallagher Where were you that morning? I was in my office and my client Cathie came in asking if I heard about the plane that crashed into the World Trade Tower. It was shocking but not as shocking as later that session when the next plane crashed into the second tower. She left and went wherever she needed to. I left and went to my daughter Dori. The children were safe at home and she and I spent the day in her bed riveted to the TV. My brother was on

Copyright 2014 by Roberta Gallagher A period of time ago I was experiencing what could be called a dark night of the soul. I was not happy yet I had all the trappings of happiness. I owned a beautiful home in a tropical and quiet neighborhood. I had a loving family and a terrific mate. I felt empty and doubted that I was worthwhile. I wallowed in this for a number of months, perhaps even a few years. When I am feeling like that I isolate and lose track of time. One morning fr

I had been tyrannized by cultural expectations of what my Valentine’s Day was to look like. This caused me no end of disappointment. Now I am very excited because I am not interested in romantic stuff as defined by commercialism. I have declared to my guy that he is off the hook from now on. I would rather have a potluck party with a few close friends and talk about our gratitude for the ordinary things our partner does for us. And if we are not partnered, talk about our grat

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. ~Richard Bach If this is true, why do so many of us settle for anythin

I found a wonderful prayer for this year. I invite you to print this out, post it in your home where you will see it everyday, reflect on its wonderful message, and internalize it. “My wish for you is that you are held, witnessed and appreciated for all that you are in a way that heals all the times that you weren’t. May you be totally seen…, heard, and cherished. “May you be so adored, that all your hurt and longing is forever washed away in a flood of endless love, flowin

I remember how I felt the first holiday after my divorce. My children were 5 and 6. Their Dad had remarried and they were expecting a child. I could not stand the idea of being excluded from a family circle. I love the holiday season and still do. Even though the marriage was not a proper match, at least I had a feeling of belonging. I anticipated the pain of feeling disconnected. What to do? Step 1- Acceptance Rather than grab onto the next guy who came along I knew I needed

I am a relationship expert and yet I have been married 4 times. I gave up a marriage that could have been workable if only I was not so tunnel visioned. If only, is a very sad phrase. All I was aware of at the time was my need to get out to explore what else was out there. It is embarrassing to admit to such superficiality, but there it is. Now some people can learn from other people’s mistakes. Some learn only from their own. I share my thoughts with you after almost 40 year

“I am who I am!” It’s a statement I hear often in the context of couples counseling. I always wonder:are you saying you are not capable of change? Sometimes this kind of take it or leave it declaration is said in frustration, as a defense against feelinganxious, depressed, or pressured. It’s worth examining whether you are feeling guilty or disrepected when you hear yourself say such a statement. But another possibility is that this is a request for acceptance. Saying I am

Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher Ever since human beings could speak to one another, they have been making promises and keeping them or not keeping them. Those who keep their promises are regarded as people of integrity, while those who don’t keep their promises are regarded as people who at best, can’t be taken seriously and at worst, can’t be trusted. Sometimes we forget how powerful our words are, and we use them haphazardly or unconsciously, creating expectations that are

Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher A month or more ago a 37 year old man living near Orlando, Florida went to bed early and the earth opened and swallowed him up (technical name “Sinkhole”). This is an ironic and dramatic end to a rather ordinary life. We cannot be safer than in our own beds. Pull the covers over your head to hide from the events we cannot control. What I can safely say is that control is an illusion. It is comforting to make plans and have goals so long as we