As a couple’s therapist and relationship coach, I’ve worked with a lot of same-sex couples over the years, and the interpersonal problems you face are not that different than those of straight couples. Regardless of sexual orientation, people are people at heart, and each one brings personal baggage to a relationship. But there’s no denying that gay and lesbian couples experience some unique threats and challenges that your hetero counterparts don’t – a major one being that

Copyright 2014 Roberta Gallagher Times they are a-changing. And yet, some things like communication and commitment remain the same throughout time and across the board. John Gottman, a noted couples researcher, has said, “Lesbian couples, like straight couples, deal with everyday ups and downs of close relationships…. [but] We know that these us and downs may occur in a social context of isolation from family, workplace prejudice and other social barriers that are unique to l

Copyright 2014 Roberta Gallagher Over the years I have worked with many gay and lesbian couples. I was of the opinion that there were no differences in a same sex relationship than in an opposite sex relationship. You live and learn. Rather than academically research what the experts were saying I thought I would ask some men what they saw as differences and similarities. “I don’t think there are any unique barriers to having a happy and healthy gay relationship compared to s

I remember how I felt the first holiday after my divorce. My children were 5 and 6. Their Dad had remarried and they were expecting a child. I could not stand the idea of being excluded from a family circle. I love the holiday season and still do. Even though the marriage was not a proper match, at least I had a feeling of belonging. I anticipated the pain of feeling disconnected. What to do? Step 1- Acceptance Rather than grab onto the next guy who came along I knew I needed

Copyright 2014 by Roberta Gallagher When I think of Thanksgiving I remember my Mom cleaning for 3 days because her family was coming. We were the poor ones and this was the one time a year she prepared a feast. Mom was a terrible cook. Her idea was to cook things without seasoning (so the natural flavor could shine through). She overcooked everything. One Thanksgiving my Dad put the fork in the turkey and it bounced off the table. Definitely one of the most joyous moments of

Copyright 2014 Roberta Gallagher Same-sex couples I have seen in my practice have often shown a notable freedom from some of the role biases of the last century that are still insidiously entrenched in heterosexual couples when it comes to working together to create a happy home life. In straight couples, biased assumptions and expectations – such as: It’s the wife’s job to cook and clean Mommies take care of the kids It’s the husband’s responsibility to repair stuff and make