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Anxiety / Depression – That Dark Cloud Over Your Relationship

Anxiety / Depression – That Dark Cloud Over Your Relationship

If you suffer from anxiety or depression, you know how isolated these disorders can make you feel. With anxiety, you are overwhelmed with worries and fears that control you. Depression makes it hard to do even simple, everyday tasks. These problems are difficult enough if you are single, but when you are in a relationship, it can sometimes be even harder. Depending on how long you’ve been together as a couple, you may still be struggling with opening up about your illness. Or

Pitfalls of Trying to Fill the Void Within

Pitfalls of Trying to Fill the Void Within

A common mistake people make is thinking another person will complete them. You feel a void in your life and fill it with the wrong kind of relationships. You may bounce from one relationship to another, looking for someone to make you happy, but never connect. Love can definitely make life more full, but as a couple's counselor, I can tell you the wrong kind of relationship can exacerbate the problem. Even if you are with someone who can be a good partner, you can't be becau

Ending a Relationship with Grace and Gravitas

Ending a Relationship with Grace and Gravitas

© 2014 Roberta Gallagher There are many reasons relationship have ended for me. Primarily I knew it was over for me. I wasn’t concerned that it was not over for the other person. As a matter of emotional survival I had to move on. In retrospect I can see through the prism of professional and personal experiences that ending relationships can be accomplished with kindness and understanding. Although this is rare, it is possible. In the various articles I have read on this to

What You Need to Know about Caring vs. Codependence

What You Need to Know about Caring vs. Codependence

Copyright 2014 Roberta Gallagher Prior to the 1970’s the term co-dependency did not exist. The 70’s was a groundbreaking time in mental health. The great minds of the time were against labeling human beings. I agreed and still do. And yet, maturity is the ability to hold two views (paradox) and see the truth in each. Judge for yourself. The benefit of creating diagnoses is in creating a way of seeing a group of symptoms so people can identify when help is needed. In addition,

Women on the Rise -- Breaking Stereotypes

Women on the Rise -- Breaking Stereotypes

Copyright 2014 Roberta Gallagher Have you ever noticed that most self-help books are aimed at women? Are we so helpless, unassertive, needy, and codependent that we require so much advice? Or are we more open to think in new ways and not afraid to think we need help? There appears to be a social issue underlying all of this. I have always been interested in making a difference but as a woman growing up in the 1950s the messages around me said I was to be a housewife and stay

The Art of Apology -- a 4 Step Process

The Art of Apology -- a 4 Step Process

Copyright 2014 by Roberta Gallagher My Mother’s first apology occurred when I was around 50. I never realized she hadn’t until she did. I started to think back and wondered what it was like as a child to always believe you are wrong. How could that be? My Mom also said “Always listen to your mother because she is always right.” The answer is, if you are always right there is never a need for an apology. As I developed, I always doubted myself. I did not start choosing my own

Social Media & Texting -- Modern Face of Betrayal?

Social Media & Texting -- Modern Face of Betrayal?

The facts are that 50% of men and women who admit to cheating use social media sites and online chat rooms in their affairs. Facebook has become notorious for connecting up people who dated in high school and now many years later– and not satisfied with their relationships – rekindle old feelings. Forty-five year old Janet came to me devastated. She had discovered that her husband had a secret phone and was contacting an old girlfriend. The texts she found were intimate. When

Don't Settle. Be Strong

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. ~Richard Bach If this is true, why do so many of us settle for anythin

Being Seen, Heard & Cherished

Being Seen, Heard & Cherished

I found a wonderful prayer for this year. I invite you to print this out, post it in your home where you will see it everyday, reflect on its wonderful message, and internalize it. “My wish for you is that you are held, witnessed and appreciated for all that you are in a way that heals all the times that you weren’t. May you be totally seen…, heard, and cherished. “May you be so adored, that all your hurt and longing is forever washed away in a flood of endless love, flowin

Silver Linings and Simples Pleasures

Silver Linings and Simples Pleasures

I have been thinking about how and what I want to write about in 2014. And here’s what I’ve realized, dear readers — you have been most responsive when I write about my personal experience. To do that I have to dig deep and expose not only my passion for life but my struggles. It’s similar to what I ask of you in counseling. I am no different than any of you out there. I share with you writings that inspire me because I want to inspire you. I have no difficulty in expressing

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