When you have reached the point you feel like your relationship needs help, you may wonder how to go about finding a good therapist. Sure, you can do a Google search and find someone – that may be what brought you to my blog. But finding a couples counselor is just part of the process. Having a good relationship with me or any other good counselor is an essential part to the work you will do on your relationship. There are certain things you should look for in a couples coun

Don’t Be A Statistic: The Bleak News About Second Marriages Does Not Have to Be Your Fate Copyright 2014 Roberta Gallagher I have been married 4 times and currently in a 10 year committed relationship. I have never considered myself a failure. Nor do I see these relationships as having failed. They lasted a respectable length of time – 8 or 9 years each and for one reason and another, they ended. I have never felt bitter. Because of my attitude I have always approached each

Copyright 2014 by Roberta Gallagher My Mother’s first apology occurred when I was around 50. I never realized she hadn’t until she did. I started to think back and wondered what it was like as a child to always believe you are wrong. How could that be? My Mom also said “Always listen to your mother because she is always right.” The answer is, if you are always right there is never a need for an apology. As I developed, I always doubted myself. I did not start choosing my own

Copyright 2014 by Roberta Gallagher A period of time ago I was experiencing what could be called a dark night of the soul. I was not happy yet I had all the trappings of happiness. I owned a beautiful home in a tropical and quiet neighborhood. I had a loving family and a terrific mate. I felt empty and doubted that I was worthwhile. I wallowed in this for a number of months, perhaps even a few years. When I am feeling like that I isolate and lose track of time. One morning fr

The facts are that 50% of men and women who admit to cheating use social media sites and online chat rooms in their affairs. Facebook has become notorious for connecting up people who dated in high school and now many years later– and not satisfied with their relationships – rekindle old feelings. Forty-five year old Janet came to me devastated. She had discovered that her husband had a secret phone and was contacting an old girlfriend. The texts she found were intimate. When

I had been tyrannized by cultural expectations of what my Valentine’s Day was to look like. This caused me no end of disappointment. Now I am very excited because I am not interested in romantic stuff as defined by commercialism. I have declared to my guy that he is off the hook from now on. I would rather have a potluck party with a few close friends and talk about our gratitude for the ordinary things our partner does for us. And if we are not partnered, talk about our grat

I found a wonderful prayer for this year. I invite you to print this out, post it in your home where you will see it everyday, reflect on its wonderful message, and internalize it. “My wish for you is that you are held, witnessed and appreciated for all that you are in a way that heals all the times that you weren’t. May you be totally seen…, heard, and cherished. “May you be so adored, that all your hurt and longing is forever washed away in a flood of endless love, flowin

Guest blogger © 2013 Deah Curry PhD Do you ever keep your New Year’s Resolutions? Me neither. Often that’s because they are too idealistic, or made about things we think we should do to be a better, healthier, person. Then a few weeks later we call it spiritual enlightenment to forgive our own flaws and accept ourselves just the way we are. Ooops, there goes that diet we never wanted to be on anyway. Even those of us who pride ourselves on keeping our word in business or to f

© 2013 by guest blogger Deah Curry PhD Living in the United States, it’s hard to miss how Christmas has become a main materialistic event. With all the sales and pressure to out-give everyone on your list, and the media tracking spending as the prime measure of a healthy populace, it’s almost un-American to resist going into debt for inflated holiday expectations. And in the process, something more important gets lost – the gifts of a soul-satisfied, joyful spirit, such as: T

Copyright 2013 by Roberta Gallagher You never feel secure in the relationship. You’re constantly asking yourself if you are as demanding as he / she says you are. You are constantly making excuses to friends and family about his / her behavior. If your partner is emotionally controlling you, it may be subtle, but it winds up being devastating. When you want the approval of your partner more than you want your own happiness and peace of mind, this gives them an unfair advantag