Blog Tips for Couples | Roberta Gallagher LCSW, LMFT

Blog Tags

No tags yet.

Finding a Good Fit with a Therapist

When you have reached the point you feel like your relationship needs help, you may wonder how to go about finding a good therapist. Sure, you can do a Google search and find someone – that may be what brought you to my blog. But finding a couples counselor is just part of the process. Having a good relationship with me or any other good counselor is an essential part to the work you will do on your relationship. There are certain things you should look for in a couples coun

How to Succeed in a Second Marriage

Don’t Be A Statistic: The Bleak News About Second Marriages Does Not Have to Be Your Fate Copyright 2014 Roberta Gallagher I have been married 4 times and currently in a 10 year committed relationship. I have never considered myself a failure. Nor do I see these relationships as having failed. They lasted a respectable length of time – 8 or 9 years each and for one reason and another, they ended. I have never felt bitter. Because of my attitude I have always approached each

The Art of Apology -- a 4 Step Process

Copyright 2014 by Roberta Gallagher My Mother’s first apology occurred when I was around 50. I never realized she hadn’t until she did. I started to think back and wondered what it was like as a child to always believe you are wrong. How could that be? My Mom also said “Always listen to your mother because she is always right.” The answer is, if you are always right there is never a need for an apology. As I developed, I always doubted myself. I did not start choosing my own

Spirit or Coincidence?

Copyright 2014 by Roberta Gallagher A period of time ago I was experiencing what could be called a dark night of the soul. I was not happy yet I had all the trappings of happiness. I owned a beautiful home in a tropical and quiet neighborhood. I had a loving family and a terrific mate. I felt empty and doubted that I was worthwhile. I wallowed in this for a number of months, perhaps even a few years. When I am feeling like that I isolate and lose track of time. One morning fr

Social Media & Texting -- Modern Face of Betrayal?

The facts are that 50% of men and women who admit to cheating use social media sites and online chat rooms in their affairs. Facebook has become notorious for connecting up people who dated in high school and now many years later– and not satisfied with their relationships – rekindle old feelings. Forty-five year old Janet came to me devastated. She had discovered that her husband had a secret phone and was contacting an old girlfriend. The texts she found were intimate. When

Design a Valentine's Day Unique to You

I had been tyrannized by cultural expectations of what my Valentine’s Day was to look like. This caused me no end of disappointment. Now I am very excited because I am not interested in romantic stuff as defined by commercialism. I have declared to my guy that he is off the hook from now on. I would rather have a potluck party with a few close friends and talk about our gratitude for the ordinary things our partner does for us. And if we are not partnered, talk about our grat

Being Seen, Heard & Cherished

I found a wonderful prayer for this year. I invite you to print this out, post it in your home where you will see it everyday, reflect on its wonderful message, and internalize it. “My wish for you is that you are held, witnessed and appreciated for all that you are in a way that heals all the times that you weren’t. May you be totally seen…, heard, and cherished. “May you be so adored, that all your hurt and longing is forever washed away in a flood of endless love, flowin

New Year’s Resolutions Couples Deeply Want

Guest blogger © 2013 Deah Curry PhD Do you ever keep your New Year’s Resolutions? Me neither. Often that’s because they are too idealistic, or made about things we think we should do to be a better, healthier, person. Then a few weeks later we call it spiritual enlightenment to forgive our own flaws and accept ourselves just the way we are. Ooops, there goes that diet we never wanted to be on anyway. Even those of us who pride ourselves on keeping our word in business or to f

Gifts of a Joyful Spirit

© 2013 by guest blogger Deah Curry PhD Living in the United States, it’s hard to miss how Christmas has become a main materialistic event. With all the sales and pressure to out-give everyone on your list, and the media tracking spending as the prime measure of a healthy populace, it’s almost un-American to resist going into debt for inflated holiday expectations. And in the process, something more important gets lost – the gifts of a soul-satisfied, joyful spirit, such as: T

Is Your Self Esteem Getting Undermined?

Copyright 2013 by Roberta Gallagher You never feel secure in the relationship. You’re constantly asking yourself if you are as demanding as he / she says you are. You are constantly making excuses to friends and family about his / her behavior. If your partner is emotionally controlling you, it may be subtle, but it winds up being devastating. When you want the approval of your partner more than you want your own happiness and peace of mind, this gives them an unfair advantag

How to Get the Sizzle Back in your Relationship

Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher You are part of a couple / in a marriage and it feels sort of stale. You appreciate the stability, but long for the feelings that naturally were there at the beginning. Fear not, those excited, loving feelings can return. The difference is that you have to decide that you will take the initiative to create what your body’s naturally produced chemicals did without trying. Arousal happens in the mind To be sexy you need to be an individual with

How Obstacles to Intimacy Can Turn to Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment

Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher Intimacy both sexual and emotional is something couples and individuals crave. Yet, despite our desire for it, this is a delicate area for most people to voice. In counseling, really intimate thoughts and behaviors are one of the last things that many people will talk candidly about. So I tell my clients: It is difficult to create an environment for these most cherished ways of connecting if we cannot share what they mean to us. Funny story —

Dating At Midlife: 4 Ways To Make The Most Of It

Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher Recycling is the current rage. If you are divorced or widowed at 50 or over, fear not. One person’s trash is another’s treasure. Your treasure may be just around the corner. A radical approach to dating at this time of life is to enjoy the process (most of the time). I am speaking from my personal experience and not from a theory of positive thinking. 1. Kill the myths: Though there is a trend for men to look for women who are younger — even s

Another Assumption That Harms Marriage & Couples

Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher In the past two blog posts, you’ve read about the assumptions of My Partner Never Changes, and Passion Fades Over Time. Today we look at a third relationship harming assumption that may pervade not only a marriage or couple’s relationship, but other areas of life as well. He / She Will Always Be There The problem with this assumption is that it leads to complacency. Feeling taken for granted creates resentment. Resentment turns into emotional

A Mistaken Belief that Wrecks Relationships

Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher Last week I wrote about the assumption of My Partner Never Changes, and how feeling invisible can cause couples to look elsewhere to feel seen, heard, and appreciated. This week’s assumption is just as deadly to happiness in marriage and committed relationships. Passion Fades Over Time This assumed belief sets you up to be out of touch with the man / woman within you. Your partner will begin to feel like a piece of furniture and devalued as an

Assumptions Couples Make That Harm Your Relationship -- Sound Familiar?

Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher Assumptions are dangerous. When unexamined, mistaken beliefs form a faulty reality. When we respond to our assumptions as if they were accurate, conflicts in the marriage or between couples inevitably arise. Are you holding this relationship damaging assumption? My Partner Never Changes Operating with this assumption creates feelings of invisibility. Feelings of being invisible to your partner creates a longing to be noticed which in turn pote

Willingness to Change Increases Intimacy in Relationships

“I am who I am!” It’s a statement I hear often in the context of couples counseling. I always wonder:are you saying you are not capable of change? Sometimes this kind of take it or leave it declaration is said in frustration, as a defense against feelinganxious, depressed, or pressured. It’s worth examining whether you are feeling guilty or disrepected when you hear yourself say such a statement. But another possibility is that this is a request for acceptance. Saying I am

Change as Opportunity for Empowerment

Copyright 2013 Roberta Gallagher When was the last time you made an empowering change? Yes, change can be scary, frustrating and seemingly slow. But it can also bring fresh opportunities for learning and growth. Changing something in a part of your life that is outside your relationship can give you and your partner something new to discuss, and an additional area in which you can be supported. It’s an empowering act to embrace and implement change — one that enhances self

Talking about right vs. doing right

Many years ago I read a story about an author who in order to enhance the ability to sell his new book about telling right from wrong – forged a testimonial from a brilliant well known person who wrote extolling the virtues of his book. It was an excellent book but it was rejected because the publisher believed we cannot write about something with authenticity unless we live it. I knew a person of great renown who seemed to understand the moral and intellectual virtues in the

2 3

South Miami's Expert Couples Counselor

Roberta Gallagher

305 - 775 - 5101

Finding a Good Fit with a Therapist

How to Succeed in a Second Marriage

The Art of Apology -- a 4 Step Process

Spirit or Coincidence?

Social Media & Texting -- Modern Face of Betrayal?

Design a Valentine's Day Unique to You

Being Seen, Heard & Cherished

New Year’s Resolutions Couples Deeply Want

Gifts of a Joyful Spirit

Is Your Self Esteem Getting Undermined?

How to Get the Sizzle Back in your Relationship

How Obstacles to Intimacy Can Turn to Sexual and Emotional Fulfillment

Dating At Midlife: 4 Ways To Make The Most Of It

Another Assumption That Harms Marriage & Couples

A Mistaken Belief that Wrecks Relationships

Assumptions Couples Make That Harm Your Relationship -- Sound Familiar?

Willingness to Change Increases Intimacy in Relationships

Change as Opportunity for Empowerment

Talking about right vs. doing right

When Obstacles are Opportunities

Reserve Your Time

with Roberta